Last Wednesday my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. It hit me really hard, and I had to do everything in my power to keep from breaking down on the spot. After I took her home and we had time to talk about it a little bit, I realized that because this was in fact cancer, there was a good chance that I would not have as many years as I thought with her.

Almost a year ago, I was in a deep depression, I didn’t think my life had meaning, and I was ready to give up. In stepped Pastor Burt, and he saved my life. From there, it was all uphill, I found a job, and was getting more and more involved at my new church.

As I was driving to church this evening, I couldn’t help but think the worst thoughts ever, what if the surgery goes bad, what if there are complications, what if she doesn’t make it, I couldn’t help but have these thoughts. I tried to get them out of my head with music, but they kept on creeping up on me.

Then, out of the blue a song came on called “Can’t Get It Right Today” by John Purdy. That song put my feelings in check, here are the words…

I just can’t seem to get it right today (today)
I just can’t seem to get it right today (today)
I just can’t love, seem to get it right today
I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up

It’s nearly been a year since he’s been gone
we still sing his goodbye songs
and she knows she should move on
but she just can’t let him go
no, she just can’t let him go

I’m sorry if I made you wanna cry
I’m sorry if I made you wanna cry
You should know I never meant to hide
I just hate bringin you down
oh, I just hate bringin you down

I just can’t seem to get it right today
I just can’t seem to get it right today
I just can’t seem to get it right today
I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up

And I dropped my paintbrush in the dirt
I’m still numb by just how much I hurt
I cut my hand, wait for it to work
but I just couldn’t bring him back
no, I just couldn’t bring him back

I just can’t seem to get it right today
Oh, I just can’t seem to get it right today
I just can’t seem to get it right today
I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up
oh, I guess I’m gonna give up
Oh lord I said I guess I’m gonna give up
Oh lord I said I guess I’m gonna give up

That’s when I realized that God was telling me that I shouldn’t give up, I shouln’t think these bad thoughts, that I should put those thoughts out of my head, and look to Him because He knows the outcome and I have to believe that with all my heart.

If you haven’t heard that song, I’m sure you have, it’s on a commercial, but I don’t know what one, it’s a lightbeat song that tells the story of a person who is having a bad day. My bad day will be Thursday, but until then, I will get it right.

-Brian